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Element (now "907") Paintball, Anchorage, Alaska. Midnight Sun Tournament Series 5, September 2005

Starting things off, Zack gets out his fiddle and sets us up a square-dance.

... And then falls asleep again.

Vortekx keeps an ear to the ground, and if he had one handy, I'm sure he'd have his nose to the grindstone too.

"Psst! Don't shoot him, or he'll make fun of me on the forum again!"

"You know, they were right. This IS a lot harder when they're shooting at me!"

Hey, there WAS somebody back there!

This always looks so cool in those John Woo movies...

"Hey guys, come back, you forgot something!"

At least this 'Proto' was working!

Only the Shadow Knows.

The obligatory pic of John rappin' em out.

Proof that you don't need flashy jerseys, overpriced pants and fancy gloves to play.

I have to make fun of a ref in each one of these photo shoots. It's in my contract... So, um, don't those look like little lipstick applicators?
(They're used "Simunition" rounds from some police training earlier in the week.)

An Iceman, with a stick up his... er, harness.

Yep, that's a hit.

Does his loader look green through those goggles?

Nothing funny here, just a clear pic without so much crap in the background... finally.

You ever get the feeling you're being watched?

Vortekx demonstrates their new Telepathic Trigger technique.

"I know you're iiiiiiin there...!"

Proof he doesn't always look like a goober.

"C'mon out! I just want to talk!"

Havin' some minor difficulties with the paint...

Okay, when you said your gun has 'eyes', that's not what I thought you meant...

FBX. So cool their goggles are mirrored on the inside.

You know... something tells me his rate of fire is about to drop off...

"It's just splatter, isn't it?"

I tried to work up a joke involving the Id and Superego, but I couldn't make it click, and only about two of you might have gotten the joke anyway.
So let's just say I hope he has a full hopper and there aren't many opponents left.

Doc's Fashion Tip; Those goggle frames positively clash with the rest of the ensemble, dearie...

Vortekx strikes a pose.

FBX puts a couple in the air...

... while an Iceman takes a peek.

These two later went on to take second in Mixed Couples Ballroom Dancing.

"Hey, HEY! Bad ref! Look at that mess you made! Don't make me rub your nose in it!"

"Hey, cut it out! He didn't say 'Simon says stand on one leg'!"

Is it just me, or is that a barrel off one of those cheap import 'Cocker clones?

See the mist and the two fragments in front of his mask? Two balls hit in midair... about 1/60th of a second before this picture was taken.

As if HALOs didn't cost enough already...

"Um... can I get a paint check?"

Amazingly enough, he made it. I think my cat can shoot better...

Like I said, there's always some clutter in the background...

Kneeling for a Prayer at the Inflatable Altar.

"Okay, I can hit that just fine, why can't I hit anything further away?"

I do not want to know what Tim is doing to his marker.

The Icemen, coiled like a steel spring... Except that guy in the back. He's just along for the ride.

Trading paint at bayonet range.

Wait, wasn't that an Intimidator earlier?

Okay, now that's just cool.

This'd make a great DYE ad... 'cept for the barrel.

More paint swapping.

Tim contemplates investing in more squeegees.

Okay, now that Chivas bag is just ghetto...

Waiting patiently to spring the trap.

And here's a couple right back at'cha!

Check that out. I'm so good with this camera I can make even him look cool.

Playing in tight to the... um... never mind.

I have no idea how I did that, but I thought it was cool anyway.

Chaos works the field while the boss watches.

"Hold on, I gotta feed my Tamagotchi. No, NO! Bad! I must punish you!"

Tam dares to be different.

Tim takes a few for the team. Okay, seven.

How did the gun know that about the bunker?

"That's my ankle. You should be looking at his."

Chaos takin' a peek.

No comment.

Working the snake.

I know they're out there somewhere.

FBX Sinistral and FBX Dextral.

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Farcical names, jokes about players and jokes about players' mothers are all in good fun. No harm intended.