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Element (now "907") Paintball, Anchorage, Alaska. Midnight Sun Tournament Series, August 2005
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Just in case you either forgot where you were, or arrived in a helicopter.
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It's always hardest to get that last ball in there.
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Introducing the latest playing technique to be introduced at an MSTS:
The "Bunker Saunter", for when you're just too damn cool to run.
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Hey check it out, somebody threw away a perfectly good Proto! Dibs!
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"Is this the drive-up window?"
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"Yep... aaany minute now.... just you wait...."
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You'd be surprised too if your Shocker was still working.
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"Ew, somebody really needs to come in and clean these bunkers."
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Intensity. That or Taco Bell again.
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"Zero?!? You sure you're holding that thing right?"
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"Stupid bunkers! Take THAT! And
THAT!"
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Okay, I'm better now. Clear. Calm. My therapist says I'm getting much better.
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Ryanthius shows off his sensitive side.
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Takin' one... no, two... for the team. (Bigger version
here.)
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Okay, three for the team. And looks like one for the ref for good measure. (Bigger version
here.)
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Speaking of getting a surprise...
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Check it out. Dorf took up paintball!
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Sean gets on the radio: "Roger that, his pants
are big enough for two people. Check the rule book to see if that counts as a second player, over."
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Bunkers? Bunkers?!? We don' need no steenking bunkers!
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"Next time, do your warm-up exercises before the damn game starts!"
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Lance's attacks of narcolepsy tended to occur at the most inopprotune times...
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Some players can make even a Tippmann look sexy.
This guy, however, is not one of them.
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Watch where yer pointin' that thing!
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"Hey, is that thing on? Can I do my George Bush impersonation real quick?"
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Hey wait a minute! That's not an Angel or an Intimidator! Get that man off the field!
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"It's all right sir. You'll be fine. We have an excellent grief
counsellor on staff who can help those who suffer from lack of game..."
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"Okay guys, the glue thing was funny the first time, but now it's just getting annoying..."
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Stop calling it a Timmy clone!
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"Wait, I'm gonna go back and try that move again. I know it'll work this time...!"
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"He'll be comin' round the bunker when he comes, oh he'll be comin' round the bunker when he cooomes...!"
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"I know that flag is around here somewhere..."
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See that Billy? That's called a "mechanical" gun. Believe it or not, it
doesn't use any batteries! Isn't modern technology amazing?
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Up close and personal.
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Vortekx shows us how to use a $1,500 marker with a $120 loader made of
$1.37 worth of plastic held together with sixty cents' worth of gaffer
tape.
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"... and one for you, and one for you.... and here's another one for you..."
(Posters of this shot
can be purchased here.)
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Doc's Tip of the Week: Turn your loader on before the game starts!
This has been a public service announcement.
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The funny thing is, he shaved it to keep paint out of his hair...
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"C'mon, c'mon, there's gotta be a bunker around here somewhere...!"
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Ignoring for the moment the fact that neither one has been hit yet... is that a floral pattern harness...?
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No comment.
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Bob n' Rob, the world's first paintball-playing siamese twins! Jointed
at their left hips, they're always watching each other's backs.
Their
bunkering technique, however, needs a little polishing....
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Leanin' out for a quick peek.
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"If you make me have to get up to pull you, I'm gonna make you eat that armband."
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You know, there's definitely times you don't want your marker to malfunction...
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Yes, the kid is almost completely hidden behind a clump of grass
shorter than his marker.
From this day forth, he shall be known as
"landmine".
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The Flying Archibald Brothers do their famous impersonations of airball
bunkers. Melvin, on the left and always the rebel,
breaks tradition and
launches into his rendition of "I'm a little teapot".
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Maybe if I get real close to the bunker, he won't see me!
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All text, photos and graphics
Copyright 1998- 2015, Doc's Machine & Airsmith Services. All Rights
Reserved.
Farcical names, jokes about players and jokes about players' mothers are all in good fun. No harm intended.