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Element (now "907") Paintball, Anchorage, Alaska. Midnight Sun Tournament Series, August 2005
Just in case you either forgot where you were, or arrived in a helicopter.
It's always hardest to get that last ball in there.
Introducing the latest playing technique to be introduced at an MSTS:
The "Bunker Saunter", for when you're just too damn cool to run.
Hey check it out, somebody threw away a perfectly good Proto! Dibs!
"Is this the drive-up window?"
"Yep... aaany minute now.... just you wait...."
You'd be surprised too if your Shocker was still working.
"Ew, somebody really needs to come in and clean these bunkers."
Intensity. That or Taco Bell again.
"Zero?!? You sure you're holding that thing right?"
"Stupid bunkers! Take THAT! And THAT
Okay, I'm better now. Clear. Calm. My therapist says I'm getting much better.
Ryanthius shows off his sensitive side.
Takin' one... no, two... for the team. (Bigger version here
Okay, three for the team. And looks like one for the ref for good measure. (Bigger version here
Speaking of getting a surprise...
Check it out. Dorf took up paintball!
Sean gets on the radio: "Roger that, his pants are
big enough for two people. Check the rule book to see if that counts as a second player, over."
Bunkers? Bunkers?!? We don' need no steenking bunkers!
"Next time, do your warm-up exercises before the damn game starts!"
Lance's attacks of narcolepsy tended to occur at the most inopprotune times...
Some players can make even a Tippmann look sexy.
This guy, however, is not one of them.
Watch where yer pointin' that thing!
"Hey, is that thing on? Can I do my George Bush impersonation real quick?"
Hey wait a minute! That's not an Angel or an Intimidator! Get that man off the field!
"It's all right sir. You'll be fine. We have an excellent grief
counsellor on staff who can help those who suffer from lack of game..."
"Okay guys, the glue thing was funny the first time, but now it's just getting annoying..."
Stop calling it a Timmy clone!
"Wait, I'm gonna go back and try that move again. I know it'll work this time...!"
"He'll be comin' round the bunker when he comes, oh he'll be comin' round the bunker when he cooomes...!"
"I know that flag is around here somewhere..."
See that Billy? That's called a "mechanical" gun. Believe it or not, it
doesn't use any batteries! Isn't modern technology amazing?
Up close and personal.
Vortekx shows us how to use a $1,500 marker with a $120 loader made of
$1.37 worth of plastic held together with sixty cents' worth of gaffer
"... and one for you, and one for you.... and here's another one for you..."
(Posters of this shot can be purchased here
Doc's Tip of the Week: Turn your loader on before the game starts!
This has been a public service announcement.
The funny thing is, he shaved it to keep paint out of his hair...
"C'mon, c'mon, there's gotta be a bunker around here somewhere...!"
Ignoring for the moment the fact that neither one has been hit yet... is that a floral pattern harness...?
Bob n' Rob, the world's first paintball-playing siamese twins! Jointed
at their left hips, they're always watching each other's backs.
bunkering technique, however, needs a little polishing....
Leanin' out for a quick peek.
"If you make me have to get up to pull you, I'm gonna make you eat that armband."
You know, there's definitely times you don't want your marker to malfunction...
Yes, the kid is almost completely hidden behind a clump of grass
shorter than his marker.
From this day forth, he shall be known as
The Flying Archibald Brothers do their famous impersonations of airball
bunkers. Melvin, on the left and always the rebel,
breaks tradition and
launches into his rendition of "I'm a little teapot".
Maybe if I get real close to the bunker, he won't see me!
All text, photos and graphics
Copyright 1998- 2015, Doc's Machine & Airsmith Services. All Rights
Farcical names, jokes about players and jokes about players' mothers are all in good fun. No harm intended.