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Element (now 907) Paintball, Anchorage, Alaska. Midnight Sun Tournament Series #3, July 2005
Is secondhand smoke bad when it's firsthand?
that bandanna I lost! Now if I can just find my gloves...
Some referees enjoy a private moment between games.
After much experimenting, Jethro decided his innovative "belly flop"
going to catch on, and we went back to using the
Connect the dots.
Close Encounters of the First kind.
"Hurry up and take the picture. I can't look this cool forever."
Ha! You missed!
This is what Speedball
is all about.
Vortekx shows us how to reload.
"I could get him if I was just a little taller..."
"Hold that pose! You need just a little splash of color right about..."
Aggressive, focused, dedicated. Either that or he's trying to find a lost contact.
Close Encounters of the Second kind.
"If we win today, maybe I'll be able to afford some gloves."
"Awright, I'm full up. Bring it ON, boys!"
Next time duck before
the ball gets there.
A field test of Ronco's new "Aerosol Ball" paint, the prefragmented paint that doesn't bounce!
Sometimes you get one that's afraid to leave the starting gate. Usually
they can be trained out of it,
but for some players, it's best just to cut your
losses and break him down for spare parts.
Ongoing "Aerosol Ball" testing. Players found it provided excellent coverage
of the inside of their barrels,
but lacked a bit in range and accuracy.
Back to the drawing board!
Someone is about to get a good lesson about tucking in. And paying attention to both sides of your bunker.
And probably stain removal.
"Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen! That should be enough. There's only three of them."
"Someone seems to have left a partially-full pod on the field. I'd better take it to the 'lost and found' right away!"
Tip from Martha Stewart Paintball: Always hide behind bunkers of a
complementary color. Clashing with the bunker, besides
embarrasing faux pas at elegant dinner parties, also helps your opponent spot you and a pop a cap in your ass.
Sending yet another one on its way.
Chaos causing more chaos.
Billy Ray shows us his new technique.
(Yes, it was posed.)
Quick tip from Doc: Shooting a lane will be a bit more effective if you can get everyone shooting the same lane. :D
"Is he behind this one? Hmm... okay, is he behind THIS one...?"
"Stop! Please don't shoot me! I'm fragile!"
Close Encounters of the Third kind.
Accessorizing. Next up, stiletto-heel cleats and plunging-neckline jerseys.
Don't worry about the ball with your name on it. Worry about the thirty others addressed to "occupant".
"Haloooo! Is there somebody in there?"
Whoops, dropped one! Start over!
Red means "Stop playing" and Green means "Go to the dead box!"
"Oh no! Is that my hairstylist?!? Quick, somebody hide me!"
"No, THAT bunker! You know, the one with the BARREL sticking out of it!"
Chaos tries to look nonchaotic for the camera.
"Do you give up yet?!?"
"No, do you?"
I have no idea how he managed to spill only red balls out of a pod of green paint.
Jim K, bedecked in his finest eveningwear, takes a few questions from his adoring public.
"Whoa! 'Scuse me! That's the last time I have Taco Bell right before a tournament!"
I have a hard time NOT seeing this as somebody about to be shot in the back of the head.
Tim again, looking suitably focused. Or possibly medicated.
"Okay, I'm pretty fast walking two fingers, lets see what happens when I try to walk four
And THAT, boys and girls, is the money shot. Also seen on the Ch.11 segment in live color!
All text, photos and graphics
Copyright 1998- 2015, Doc's Machine & Airsmith Services. All Rights
Farcical names, jokes about players and jokes about players' mothers are all in good fun. No harm intended.